


The 148th Day

by Morgana



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-01
Updated: 2010-01-01
Packaged: 2017-10-05 17:25:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgana/pseuds/Morgana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Buffy counted the days, waiting for one in particular</p>
            </blockquote>





	The 148th Day

The raucous strains of "Anarchy in the UK " woke her at eight, just as they did every morning. Buffy yawned and stretched, smiling when she heard Sid Vicious' laughter. She could see now why Spike had loved this music - the wild crashing chords and the devil-may-care attitude was the very essence of the bad boy he so liked to pretend he was. Ten seconds before her first Spike thought… she was getting better.

The rest of the house was busy getting ready in the mornings, so she had carved out this time, this space in her day for remembering. They could have the rest of it - her sister, her friends, her Watcher with his knowing gaze that seemed a little too sharp sometimes, but the first and the last hours… these were hers. And Spike's. Her golden time. She remembered hearing that phrase at some point in school, and now she really understood what it meant. This was her chance to cherish him the way he'd always wanted, to remember the man she had seen him become and the vampire she had in her own way always loved, and to cry for him where no one else could see.

In the weeks after Sunnydale was destroyed, they had all watched her with expectant eyes, keeping their voices calm, hurrying to change the subject every time his name came up. Buffy knew this drill, had been on the other side of it when Willow returned from England, and she wasn't going to play the grief-stricken widow any more than Will had. It would've felt selfish to wallow in his loss like that. She wasn't the first person to lose the one she loved and she couldn't stop the world for her to mourn, no matter how much she might want to sometimes. So she smiled and went through her days, laughed with Willow and went shopping with Dawn, and if the smell of cigarette smoke made her throat close up with tears or the sight of a black leather coat caused her heart rate to speed up, she did her best to ignore it.

A glance at the calendar on the wall reminded her that she wasn't the only one that missed Spike. Dawn had gotten it for her once they settled in, and at first Buffy wondered why, since it was full of cutesy pictures of big-eyed kittens, but once she looked inside, she got it. Dawn had gone through and added fangs and blood to all the kittens, then written Spikeish captions for each picture. This month had the kittens rolling around in a field of marigolds, and under the picture was printed _Bloody stupid way to spend the afternoon, innit_? Buffy chuckled again at the words before she sat up and pulled the covers back. Something hovered at the back of her mind, something important and just out of reach, but she didn't worry too much about it. She'd remember it sooner or later.

She hummed along with "I Wanna Be Sedated" in the shower, smiling at the memory of Spike drumming nervously on the steering wheel of his car during their non-date. It was while she was washing up and singing along with "I'm Not Like Everybody Else" that it hit her. She hurried through the rest of her shower, then went to find something to wear. Pawing through her clothes, she came to the conclusion that she needed something new, but a pair of red leather pants and a gauzy white poet's blouse would do until she could get to a store.

Once she was dressed, she headed downstairs for breakfast, lips curving in a smile that actually felt natural. Excitement hummed in her veins, the kind she hadn't felt since before she became the Slayer, the simple thrill of knowing that today held all manner of wonderful things just waiting for her to stretch her hand out for them.

And why wouldn't she feel that way? After all, today was the 148th day!


End file.
